I wanna bring you to show and tell
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
