Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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