Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
