I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
