i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
