go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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