I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
