theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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