i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
