Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
