im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
