Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She needs sedatives and a leash
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
