do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
