so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
