Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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