I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
