Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
