Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
so let's talk penis.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
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i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
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I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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