i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
