you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
