took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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