Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
