dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
