It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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