I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
