yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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