Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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