Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just invented taco cereal.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
