I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
