Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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