in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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