yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He felt like a one man threesome
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
