lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Randomize
