I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
