I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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