I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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