They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
