Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
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