I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
