Duck Duck Cougar?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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