So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
