Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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