We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
