Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
