I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
