i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
