How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
