If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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