So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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