She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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