i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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