Where is the hickey?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
