girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
