Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize