Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He shit in the fireplace
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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