Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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