Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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