So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
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New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
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I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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