I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just invented taco cereal.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
